Perfectionism can feel like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it pushes you to do your best and aim for success. On the other, it can lead to stress, burnout, and even procrastination when the fear of not being “perfect” takes over. If you’re a student who struggles with perfectionism, you’re not alone. In fact, 1 in 3 students struggle with perfectionism. Many teens feel the pressure to excel in school, sports, and extracurriculars, but it’s important to find a balance. Here are some strategies to help you manage perfectionism and thrive without burning out.

1. Set Realistic Goals

Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for themselves. Instead of aiming for a perfect score on every test or assignment, focus on setting realistic, achievable goals. Break big tasks into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if you’re working on a project, set a goal to complete one section at a time rather than trying to perfect everything at once. Celebrate small wins along the way—they add up!

2. There are No Mistakes, Just Opportunities for Good Stories

Nobody’s perfect, and mistakes are a natural part of learning. Instead of beating yourself up over a low grade or a missed deadline, think about the funny story you’ll tell about it later. “I totally missed that ball that was hit right at me. I absolutely could have been on a sports blooper reel.” We can’t learn unless we mess up sometimes. That gives us a chance to figure out a new solution to that problem. Remember, even the most successful people have failed countless times—it’s how they bounced back that made the difference.

3. Go Out of Your Way to Try New Things

Speaking of making mistakes, go out of your way to try new things on a regular basis. When we try new things, mistakes are a part of the landscape. Because you’re doing something you’ve never tried before, you get a pass for not getting it right the first time. Trying things you’ve never done before gives you a chance to explore things you’ve maybe always wanted to try, but didn’t want to look bad if it didn’t work out. Go in with the attitude of “Well it’s going to be amazing, or I’ll get a good story out of it.”

4. Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionists often see things in black and white: either you’re perfect, or you’re a failure. This kind of thinking can be exhausting and unrealistic. Try to shift your mindset to see the gray areas. For example, if you didn’t do as well as you hoped on a test, remind yourself that one grade doesn’t define your intelligence or worth. Progress, not perfection, is what matters.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

Would you criticize a friend for making a mistake? Probably not. So why be so hard on yourself? Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. When you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. You’re supposed to screw up sometimes. Self-compassion can help you stay motivated without the pressure of being perfect.

6. Ask for Help

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Talk to a trusted teacher, parent, or counselor about what you’re going through. Sometimes, just sharing your feelings can lighten the load. You might also find that others have struggled with similar challenges and can offer helpful advice.

Final Thoughts

Perfectionism doesn’t have to control your life. By setting realistic goals, embracing mistakes, and practicing self-compassion, you can find a healthier way to approach school and life. Remember, being a student is about learning and growing—not about being perfect. So take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!